A Sacred Duty (Repost)...

This is a post from the middle of 2011, not long after I was married; it was one of my favourites. Here it is, with amendments, and additions:

There is a role more noble than the Order of the Garter;

More sacred than the Society of the Holy Cross.

More ancient than the Holy Writ of Scripture.

John the Baptist alluded to this rank as 'friend of the groom'.

I speak, of course, of the best man.

Bestmanning.

It is my privilege to preform these duties twice this year (2011); for two very different men, who will have two very different days. As a result of these differences, my role will appear quite different; but, in substance it remains the same.

The best man's job is to ensure the groom comes ready for the wedding: mentally, spiritually, physically.

I remember the night before my wedding, when my best man was on the receiving end of about a hundred texts and tweets, requesting various items, from shoe polish, to cuff-links, to confirmation that he hadn't lost the rings. It wasn't simply that I required these items (I certainly didn't require them at One in the morning); Nor was it simply a matter of needing assurance that they would be remembered; it was, perhaps, most importantly assurance that I would be remembered.

A wedding can be should be a serious thing; it is not so much a matter of Life or Death, but more a matter of Life or Life. Which Life? That's the question. Marriage joins two people as one. Two families as one. Two pasts as one future. But where does that leave the groom?

Swallowed up into a homogeneous mass like Brangelina?

No. Marriage joins two, so that they can be more fully themselves, not so they can be a beige blob of humanity. And this, perhaps, is also the role of the best man; to see that the groom doesn't abandon himself, his loves, his passions, his life. Instead, the best man is prepare the groom for a life where he can be more truly himself.

The role of best man is the role of priest.

To take you to the altar, and to pass you the emblems of your promise

It is not the role of a priest to live an experience for you; it is his job to ensure that you come, ready and prepared.

The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete.

My prayer is that I don't balls it all up too badly.